Pressure

I am finding myself back in that "whiney baby" stage of the journey.  It seems like I can coast for several weeks and then I start the stomping and complaining again.  My complaint this time?  A gain last week.  It wasn't catastrophic and I kinda expected it, but it is still disappointing and I have to admit it knocks the wind out me a little bit.  I can always list 15 reasons why I gained - you know the usual stress and lack of sleep and all of that, but when I am truly honest it comes down to getting a little too "free" with my choices.  A few bites here that are unaccounted for and maybe a forgotten avocado there.  It all adds up, and add to that sitting on my butt most of the day last Friday with my son who had surgery...it's a cocktail for disaster on the weight loss front.  Don't get me wrong I didn't go raid Dunkin Donuts, but you can overeat healthy foods too!

Something I did learn this week is that I need to listen to my body.  The old me craved everything bad all of the time.  Now I rarely have what I would call a true craving, but when I do I think it usually legitimate.  For instance...I will crave pears or avocado if I go a few weeks without having them.  I like that because it helps me keep putting a variety of foods in my mouth each week.  This last week I craved a chocolate bar.  I am not talking about a Snickers either (even though Snickers used to be my fav), I am talking about an Endangered Species bar...my favorite...dark chocolate with mint.  I ignored the craving and passed it off as unnecessary - something the old me would want.  I should have listened.  All week I tried to fill that need with less healthy alternatives.  Nothing satisfied me.  After WW on Saturday...I bought my chocolate and I ate it.  No more chocolate craving so far this week.  Lesson learned.

Here is the deal though...I TRY not to let the gain get to me...I really do.  But then the perfectionist and competitive side of me just won't let it go!  And top that with the pressure of friends and family who look me up each week to ask the burning question, "how did you do this week???"  I love having that accountability, but it sure sucks when I don't have negative numbers to report.  Sometimes that pressure is too much for me to bear.  Sometimes I wonder why people want to read my story or ask my advice.  But then I think back to where I have come from...and I smile.  I guess it's just a reminder that this is not really MY story to start with and that I need my Heavenly Father to carry me when I am weak.

I am not sure if I let my guard down after the holidays or if I am just feeling rebellious, but I know that this isn't the end for me...not even CLOSE!  I have so much more journey left.  I think I just needed a kick in the pants! ;-)  And...I needed to get out my rice cooker and make some yummy groats! One of my favorite breakfast treats!

This last week I gained 1.4 pounds.  BOO!  That brings my total weight loss to 88.8.  No worries.  I'll be back to 90...and then 100 in no time!  The plan for my 100 celebration?  To revamp this site and a revamp my look...definitely looking forward to visiting my favorite hairdresser, Miss Joie!  It's been way too long!

I am looking forward to a great week.  My plan for the week is to move my butt and really focus on good, healthy grains, veggies and fruits, and up my water intake again because I have gotten lazy about it.  I am also trying to eat less at meal-time and have more snacks.  Sometimes I find myself forgetting snacks and then it really sneaks up on me when it comes to meals.  A little more balance is a good thing.

Looking forward to reporting back next week with some "negative" news!