I'm feeling all smooshy inside because tomorrow marks the one-year anniversary of my journey. One year ago I threw up my hands at my lazy, toxic lifestyle, prayed for direction, and walked into the doors at Weight Watchers. Everyone was so friendly and smiling - except me. I was miserable. I still remember the sinking feeling I had as I stepped on the scale. I remember the shock I felt as I realized that my weight had reached an all-time high of 321.8 pounds. I stared at the number for quite a while. I couldn't get over it. Numbers like that will jerk you into reality real quick.
Aside from the fear and shock, I also remember the freedom that came as I walked out of the doors that day. I looked at my reflection in the large panes of glass and I shuddered. I was so embarrassed...but at the same time I felt free. I felt free because I took a stand that day - I stood up for "me" and stood up to myself - that was a big step in the right direction. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I opened my mind to the possibilities. I became a sponge that day...soaking up information. I threw out everything I thought I knew about nutrition and "dieting" and health and I started over at a ground level.
You know I think the biggest change for me was surrendering my life, my food, my habits, my body, and my family over to God. I acknowledged the fact that, yes, I have been a failure before. I have gained and lost and lost and gained a million times. The difference is will-power vs. God-power. My will-power is strong to a point...until hurt comes along...until stress comes along...until cookies come along. (haha) But GOD-power? It is never-failing, never-ceasing - no matter what the circumstances. THAT was the power I had been missing. Talk about the ultimate WW buddy!
I am so looking forward to what the next year of my journey will bring! Today I tried on some jeans and was able to zip up a size 16. That is the size I wore in high school! :-) Of course my body doesn't quite look the same as it did back then! Four kids have a way of giving you that used-and-abused kind of look!
This week I had a slight gain - 0.4 pounds. No big deal. I think 94.4 pounds is pretty darn good for a year...don't you? Just 5.6 pounds away from 100! I can't wait!
In honor of my 1-year anniversary, here is a song that really spoke to me at the beginning of my journey. We sang it at church the day after I started WW. I got to sing back-up that day. Coincidence? I hope it will inspire and motivate YOU!
And lastly I'll leave you with this quote from one of my favorite songs, "Our God," by Chris Tomlin: "And if our God is for us than who could ever stop us? And if our God is with us, then what could stand against?"