Feelin' Chalky

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Chippin' Away!

This week has been the hardest week I've had in a long time - emotionally.  Not really sure what is triggering it.  Maybe detox from sugar and dairy, maybe just my body trying to recover from the rollercoaster it's been on for years - especially the big loops I've thrown it over the past several months.  I talked a little bit today at my meeting and throughout the week with friends and family about this warped mental junk that's been creeping up on me. I look in the mirror and I see no progress.  I see all the flaws.  I see so much more work to be done and it gets me down.  I'm not denying that I have lost weight.  I KNOW that I have and I KNOW that my clothes are baggy and that I have gone from a size 28 to a size 20...I know all of this.  Like I said, it's all in my head.

The suggestion at my meeting today was to take another "progress picture."  I have all of my before shots, now I need a 19 week shot - one that I can look at and say...yeah...there is a difference!  I don't know why, but they are right.  When you look in the mirror you see yourself as more (or sometimes as less) as you are weight-wise.  I think that we just get used to seeing ourselves day in and day out and don't always notice subtle changes.  I didn't notice fully how much my hubby had lost until I went back and looked at old pictures...wow!

I learned something else this week.  A little jewel of wisdom that I can pass on.  We have been talking about worrying at Church and how essentially worry = not trusting God (ouch!).  This is one verse that was referenced in last week's service:

25 “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? 27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?"  Matthew 6: 25-27

What I realized this week through this verse is that part of my struggle with weight is about trusting God.  I remember times where I would eat and eat and eat like there would be no food tomorrow.  It was like deep down I was worried that I wouldn't ever get a chance to have that Nacho Bell Grande ever again...ha...now I PRAY that I will never have it again (18 points by the way).  It sounds silly, but I really think that part of my success now is the thought that if I can't have something I love today, there is always tomorrow.  Chances are I may not even want it the next day, but just trusting God to provide me with another day of life and with all of the foods I need to nourish my body (and even some that are just downright fun to eat - like dark chocolate) is a very freeing thought...and I never feel deprived and caught up in that binge mentality anymore.

This week I lost another 1.4 pounds!  :)  Still chipping away at the numbers one day at a time.  That brings my total to 47 pounds lost - 13 to go by August!

Here is my week 19 "progress picture" as cheesy as it may be:

and a side view (ugh - anyone else hate their side view?):

Here are a few things I am doing back-flips for this week:

Vegan Peanut Butter Cups - My buddy Jaime made these for a get-together we had on Tuesday this week and they were beyond delish.  The recipe is in "The Kind Life."  I will cheat and let you in on it...but you STILL have to read the book b/c it is wonderful!

1 c. Earth Balance butter
3/4 c. crunchy peanut butter (preferably unsweetened and unsalted)
3/4 c. graham cracker crumbs (or 10 squares) 
1/4 c. maple sugar or other granulated sweetener (Jaim used maple syrup) 
1 c. non-dairy (grain-sweetened) chocolate or carob chips
1/4 c. soy, rice, or almond milk (Jaim used almond) 1/4 c. chopped pecans, almonds, or peanuts (Jaim used pecans)

Line a 12-cup muffin tin w/ paper liners.  Set aside

Melt the butter in a small saucepan over medium heat.  Stir in the peanut butter, graham cracker crumbs, and maple sugar/syrup and mix well.  Remove the mixture from the heat.  Evenly divide the mixture, approximately 2 tablespoons per cup, among the muffin tins.

Combine the chocolate and milk in another pan.  Stir over medium heat until the chocolate had melted.  Spoon the chocolate evenly over the peanut butter mixture.  Top w/ chopped nuts.  Place in the refrigerator to set for at least 2 hours before serving. (these are 7 points a piece, but SO worth every bite!) 

Grilled Veggies - Can you say HELLOOOO summer?  Big honkin' slices of grilled bell peppers, onions, mushrooms, zucchini, summer squash, tomatoes...it just doesn't get much better than that!  Try marinading them in your fav dressings, or soy/BRAGGs/tamari, or just really good EVOO and S&P.  So yummy and you can eat a truckload for little to no points!

Groats - these are the whole oat (minus the husk - which you probably couldn't eat anyway unless you were a goat)...and they are FAB!  If you like brown rice you will for sure like this.  Great way to get more bang for your morning-oatmeal buck.  They are slightly chewy and fill you way up and leave you with a warm happiness in your tum-tum all day.  I experimented this week with them and here is my favorite version so far:

Bananas Foster Groats

1/3 c. Oat Groats (they also sell buckwheat groats)
1 1/3 c. water (for cooking)
2T vanilla soy, rice, or almond milk
3 t. Brown Rice Syrup
1 sliced banana
sprinkle of cinnamon

Cook your groats on the stove on medium heat for about 40 minutes.  Check on it to make sure the water doesn't completely evaporate...you can always add more liquid to it if you need it (the ratio is pretty much 1 part groats to 4 parts water).  Once it's done - it should be puffy and chewy - add your milk, b.r. syrup, banana slices, and cinnamon.  The brown rice syrup mixed with the vanilla flavor in the milk truly makes this dish taste like Bananas Foster (a rich dessert with butter and brown sugar, bananas, and rum...).  I mean, obviously it's not a match, but you get the undertone of caramel and the warm bananas melt in your mouth...am I making you hungry yet?  Oh...and it's only 5.5 points and very filling!!!


  1. You are lookin' smokin' hot girl! Way to go! Keep up the great work! You're an inspiration.

  2. I'm so proud of you Aubri. Especially for putting it all out there for the world to see. Just keep hanging in there. You look great and I can definitely tell a difference. Remember, I told you it would be hard right around this time. Don't listen to your head.... Sometimes when you look in the mirror your mind tells you you look great (because you really want an excuse to eat) and other times you look in the mirror and it tells you you look like crap ('cause it wants you to give up). Either way it's just your negative self-talk trying to sabatage you. Just remember "you're good enough, you're smart enough, and doggone it people like you!" Your beauty comes from your heart and everyone around you can see it bursting through you. It's a long and tough road but the rewards will be so worth it....YOU are worth it!

  3. I don't know what it is, but I have been feeling the same way. It's like mentally, I have hit a road block, even though the scale still shows progress (slowly) week after week.

    I lost 1.2 this week - the first week in 3 weeks that I lost a full lb!! I was so tired of the .2, .4, .6 - even though they are still baby-steps in the right direction, so this was a good week for me mentally. I'm down to 176.8 (from 200), but when I put that into perspective against my goal weight (145), it gets me a little down. I just have to remind myself not to look at the end goal... and celebrate the little successes along the way. Easier said than done, sometimes, so I totally get where you're coming from.

    You look great, and 47lbs down - WOW!! You're doing a great job!!

  4. Maggie - keep up the great work!! We are in this together...let's keep motivating each other...we will get there...I know it!